Learning to trust God

I can't believe that it is almost October. I should be getting excited about coming home for the first time all semester and going to the beach for fall break....I'm not, because I'm already here. Although, I am going to the beach and super excited, I'll just be leaving with my mom and sister instead of driving myself and meeting everyone. Anyways, it's hard to believe I'm in week 9 of my internship. After this week I only have 10weeks left in this and I'm done!!! Wow that is super hard to believe. It has been great so far. I've been in the OR and in the ED. Now I'm in the NICU. Life still hasn't gotten that much easier here in the QC. I mean I'm learning to accept that this is the way things are going to be and that I have to just go with it. I have my days though where I'm super happy and excited to be here and hanging out with people and have my family close by....then like a random summer shower I'm crying because I miss Greenville and all my friends. It's crazy, it's like a rollercoaster that I'm ready to get off of. I still don't feel like I'm ready to really venture out on my own. I still find myself wondering why I'm here, where I'm supposed to be going to church, who my friends are here, etc. Talking to my sister the other night just made me realize that what I'm going through is normal, that it's a hard adjustment moving back to a place where you've got no one. All though I do have people here. My whole family is here, my best friend is here, my twins here, another friend from high school is here...but I still don't know why I still feel so lonely most of the time. On anther note, I'm learning how to pray audacious prayers. Actually I'm trying to learn to listen and to obey God. I'm not the best when it comes to completely trusting or listening. Sometimes I just really don't know how to take the next step...whether it be in my life or in my faith. Sometimes I just feel stuck in this same place, not knowing whether to go forward, backwards, left or right. So I'm praying, praying God show me where to go, how to get there, and how to continue in my faith without going 3 steps back! So by God's grace I will get there. Until then I will continue in my walk with God and try to get more in to the word.