Miss you grandma

Well yesterday marked the one year anniversary of my grandmother's death...I can't believe that it has been an entire year. I miss her like crazy and it seems like more more and more as the days go by. I miss going to visit her at The Regency, I miss wheeling her into her room and picking her outfits out for the week w/her jewlery. I miss going to Wine and cheese on Friday's w/her and my grandpa. I miss her yelling at my uncle and I when we aggravate each other (or her) during family dinners. I miss her smell, her soft, gentle hands. I miss combing her soft, fluffy, white hair and painting her ever so long fingernails. I miss going home and her asking me how school is, whether she really wanted to know or not, I miss her asking me what was new and how my love life was. I just miss her! She was so strong, even when she felt so weak. She taught me so much in life whether she knows it or not. Getting together w/the family is not the same anymore and there is always something missing and it's her...I know that she is with us and watching down from heaven, but it doesn't always make the missing her part any easier. The day we had to say goodbye was probably the hardeset day of my life so far and it will forever be engraved in my mind. Looking at the casket during the wake knowing that she was in there, wishing this was a dream, wanting to yell out that they can't close her in there, that they can't bury her, nothing...why? because I'm not ready, because it can't be real-but I had to realize that I wasn't sleeping and this was reality and it was my grandmother's time to gain her angel wings and fly to heaven to be with her mother and father again! I miss you grandma and I love you!